Present
by Rosaroma
Summary: Simon deals with his past whilst living on Serenity.
1. Chapter 1

Simon nurses the glass of scotch, as yet untouched. This bar is dirtier than any he's seen yet, nestled on some trash heap of a planet. He watches River as she dances carefree and swallows convulsively. She hadn't asked, about their parents. She hadn't asked where they were, why they hadn't come too. But he knew.

'If you go looking for your sister again I will not come.'

That sentence had been the last his father had ever spoken to him. Who knows what the last to River had been.

'You look fit to shoot yourself there Doc,' Kaylee said as she sat down opposite him flipping her hair around her finger as she does. There was concern in her eyes and he closed his heart off from feeling anything about that. Caring for people was too big a risk, he already had his hands full keeping River alive. River looked up suddenly and shook her head, the picture of his sister in her right mind. It shocked him when she did that, just reverted back as though nothing had happened. How was she reading his mind? He didn't really care he received the message loud and clear, don't push Kaylee away.

Kaylee was chewing her lip when he looked up. 'Oh you see me now?'

'I'm sorry, I was thinking of our parents.' He confides knowing she won't tell anyone.

Kaylee perks up, 'I didn't know you all had parents, I mean of course you had parents,' she turned a beautiful pink, so he leans over and catches her mouth with his.

'They're not much to talk about,' he says breaking only a breath away and gazing into her eyes. He's wanted to see her eyes up close, to really see the hues. Gosh she's beautiful he thinks. She seems to understand the pain underneath it all and reaches for his hand lacing their fingers.

'You don't have to pretend with me you know,' she reaches for his hair and then pulls back awkwardly unsure of herself, she looks at the floor. Why can't she just be relaxed and confident like Inara, she always seems to know what to do. He kisses her and runs his hands into her hair undoing the curls that twined for one another. She rethinks and wraps her arm around his neck as he wraps his around her waist. The doc can kiss!

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AN - Does this need more?


	2. Chapter 2

Simon finishes stitching Jayne's chest, hands unshaking, Simon doesn't shake. Simon is the best doctor this side of Persephone and he isn't phased by Jayne's glares. Inside though, inside he's quivering, fear that the captain will drop them off at the next landing spot, Jayne's shouting enough about it to plant a seed. Finishing with a slight tug Simon snips the thread and leaves.

In his room he breathes deeply, his shirt seeming to constrict around his throat. Grabbing the collar he unbuttons it enough to tear it off over his head. Looking around for something to distract him all he finds is the glass, from when he and Kaylee first kissed. He picks it up and throws it down on the bed as he slides down the wall. The cold metal against his back is calming and he begins to simmer.

That's how Kaylee finds him. Clutching his head, shivering a little from the cold and staring unseeing at the glass. She knocks lightly and he looks up dumbly, eyes heavy from not blinking. Kaylee comes to sit beside him and pulls his hand into hers. 'The captain won't throw you away, he said as much and told Jayne to stop whining.'

He hears her through the fog and turns to her, his expression doesn't change. He's too tired. Tired of running and not being who he was. 'I miss being a doctor.'

Kaylee wrinkles her brow and her nose in an eye catching display, he can't work out how her face moves that way. 'You _are_ a doctor.'

'In a hospital with the complicated cases, consistent work, respect.' He sighs as he says it and holds her hand tighter, willing her not to leave.

'I respect you an awful lot. You did save my life, and there's been nothing you haven't been able to fix. I know its no fancy hospital out here in the black,' she's nervous, 'but we need you.'

He shuts his eyes pained. Needing people. 'I don't want to hurt you Kaylee.'

'So don't.' She says it so matter of factly. Her feet are up on his bed, toes wiggling she unstraightened his bedding.

'Okay,' he concedes leaning as she turns toward him and presses his mouth against hers. He parts her lips with the tip of his tongue and she strokes his hair making him sigh. 'You feel like a newly painted house.'

Kaylee pulls back with one of her excuse me impressions and turns away.

Simon scrambles to explain pulling her chin back toward him, 'I mean,' he kisses her gently, 'you feel like home. A new better home.' Her mouth curves gleefully and she jumps at him knocking them over and causing the glass to fall off the bed. River appears at the door, 'Simon? Are you hurt?'

He's nose to nose with Kaylee, he bites lip leaning infinitesimally closer. She smiles and gets off him. 'Simon's okay River. He just fell over.'

'That does seem likely, he's not very graceful.' River says peering at him.

Simon leaps up indignantly, 'just because you can stand on a pinhead for an hour doesn't mean I want to!'

Kaylee laughed this beautiful joyful sound and Simon spins round to watch her.

'Siblings are hilarious. I have four brothers but not anywhere near here.' She casts her eyes down and River comes over and hugs her. 'Oh,' Kaylee smiles, 'thank you River. I ain't never had a sister. She's so sweet.'

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**AN - Anyone interested?**


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